7 Things

I want to share this with you. It's something to think about.

How often do you make an apology? It seems that I apologize an inordinate number of times throughout the day. Why? I don’t mean it half the time. It’s an automatic response. When I was younger, I used to have a habit of saying, “I’m sorry” after doing or saying something that I thought may have been non-appealing to the recipient. It didn’t matter what it was. It could be a joke that I told that didn’t garner an appropriate response of laughter. It could be after something as simple as a sneeze.

However, after growing up a bit, I realized that I don’t have to be sorry for EVERYTHING.  Only apologize when an apology is necessary. In certain instances I’ve also learned that there are times where you may do or say something that may be a bit uncomfortable for another person. You shouldn’t have to apologize for saying those things. You may wish to apologize for the pain that saying these things may have caused. But, the actual act and reason should not be one of remorse.

Here are seven instances where you should be willing to take action and not apologize for it later.

Being honest.
People often say, “the truth hurts” or “you can’t handle the truth” or “you don’t really want to hear the truth.” The fact of the matter is, everyone does want the truth. However, it’s no longer in your control once the truth is out how the other person will handle hearing that information. What you should be mindful of is the timing of your truth delivery. There’s definitely timing to truth. Sometimes, you may need to delay what you share for a more appropriate time. For example, you may not wish to tell your best friend right away that you are thinking about moving to France when they’re mourning the loss of a loved one. But, when you do choose to tell them at the best moment, there’s nothing to be remorseful about. Be honest.

Loving yourself.
It is important to love yourself before you can honestly and truthfully love another. When you pour love into yourself, many people mistake that for selfishness or even overconfidence. Take inventory of the type of signal that you’re emitting when you are “loving yourself.” If you are in a genuine place of love, then that signal should not get misinterpreted. But if you’re trying to make yourself feel better at the expense of someone else deliberately, then that’s not really love.  So, if you’re getting back from someone that you’re being selfish, really check the authenticity of your self-love. However, if you’re certain that you are giving yourself the very best, then that’s nothing to be sorry for.

Crying when you need to.
Even if you’re embarrassed to cry, crying is a release of pent up emotion that everyone was built with the capacity to do. It’s fine and quite cleansing to let out tears when they well up in your eyes. It doesn’t make you any less strong or mature to cry. It’s a natural response to overwhelming emotion (whether happy or sad), and it’s all OK. Crying also  helps you to move beyond what could have been holding you back.

Taking a break.
I used to be guilty of this one a lot. Life can get a bit challenging and complex when a lot of things are happening simultaneously. Many times we’re expected to just push through and “suck it up.” If we do this too much, our body will shut us down at the most seemingly inopportune time. It’s more healthy and beneficial to literally stop every once and a while to breathe, to let your hair down, to relax, to rejuvenate. It’s necessary. It’s part of our body’s natural rhythm. When we disrupt this, we can break down our bodies’ defenses and become more susceptible to sickness. Take a load off. You deserve it every once and a while especially when you know you’re moving in the right direction.

Being alone.
Being by yourself is not a bad thing. Taking some alone time to get quiet and be at peace is a treat! It gives you the space to tap more into your intuitive gifts and really hear what it is that’s calling you. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, relish in the opportunity to spoil and cherish yourself…to meet only your demands….to listen to only your requests….. and to tend to only your needs. Take the time to pamper and really love yourself. You’ll be more equipped to share later.

Change.
This is the ONE thing in life that is consistent. Change always occurs. We as humans need to be sensitive and flexible to change. It may be a bit uncomfortable to impose abrupt changes on another person’s life when you’re involved in the change, but oftentimes change is very necessary for survival, peace of mind, help, strength, hope and faith. When you make a decision, at the time that you make it, you should do so with certainty and have your reasons why. But, don’t be afraid to change your mind. You have the right to do so especially if you learned something after your decision that could save you lots of heartache in the long run. Listen to your gut and trust your intuition. If change is coming, welcome it.

Saying “no.”
This is a gigantic one. Saying “no” sets boundaries. Why should we have to apologize for protecting ourselves? Sure, it may hurt your significant other’s feelings to say no to a request that they earnestly may want a “yes” too. If the “yes” causes you to compromise your integrity, your spirit, your trust, your values, your truth or anything that means a whole lot more to you, then saying “no” shouldn’t be something that you regret later. When you say “no”, really mean it and have your reason for why you said it. Make sure it has weight.

What are other things you feel you shouldn’t have to apologize for?

original post at http://www.coachandcounsel.net
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About myra36

parent, housewife, advocate, diva
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4 Responses to 7 Things

  1. Cyndi says:

    I love this post! I couldn’t agree more and have, like you, apologized for all sorts of crap I didn’t need to and didn’t actually feel sorry about, just felt bad for the other person for some ridiculous reason. I too am getting better at it but it’s a hard habit to break, isn’t it? The only thing that comes to mind that’s not on this list is “being yourself” but that would probably fall under “being honest”. GREAT post!

  2. manchitra says:

    Hi
    liked your lovely post especially loving yourself . i agree with you that feeling good at the expense of others is selfishness and taking a break is something i am learning now, helps me physically and mentally.

    • myra36 says:

      Thanks for dropping by!

      Taking that break for yourself is so important. It’s too easy to get caught up with everything. You need to have a time out to recharge.

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