When you become a parent, there are some things that you do because you’ve already planned on doing them beforehand. Other things you learn to do without thinking but have to out of necessity. For example:
1) Become a circus performer – I can now complete a multitude of tasks with one hand and pick up things up with my feet.
2) Multitask – Many of us do this already. But, add a kid into the mix and it’s a different animal altogether. Some things – such as talking on the phone, watching TV, and breastfeeding – are OK to do simultaneously. Talking on your cell, driving, AND breastfeeding is a definite contender for a Darwin Award. Yes, it’s happened.
3) Do gross things – I used to be a real princess. I don’t go camping because I think that it’s dirty and I hate bugs. But now, I don’t even blink an eye when I wipe snot with my pashmina, pick up regurgitated food with my bare hands, or pick my son’s nose.
4) Act like a bloodhound – If I had a dollar for every time I’ve sniffed a baby’s butt for poopies…
5) Be an Energizer bunny – Even though you’ve had only two hours of sleep, you keep going and going and going…
6) Become and efficiency expert – You can clean the house, top to bottom, in five minutes flat when you’ve got company coming. You can accomplish a day’s worth of chores during your baby’s three hour nap. Parenting is doing in 15 minutes what takes most people 45 minutes to do.