I can’t believe my son is turning one next month. Where has the time gone? It seemed like yesterday that we brought him home from the hospital. He is getting bigger and stronger with each passing day. When I see him tearing around the living room, I can’t believe that just a few months ago we handled him like eggshells.
He has reached so many milestones already. He has four teeth, is cruising, can wave, blows raspberries (yes, that’s a skill), can say “Dada” (still working on “Mama”), and eats “people” food. I see more and more of his personality emerging. He is happy, content, and independent. He has a ready smile, laughs, and is sociable. At the same time, I fret about the other skills such as drinking out of a sippy cup, walking, and talking. Shouldn’t he be doing these things by now? My head tells me that all babies are different and that it’s not fair to compare. I keep telling myself that it’s not a competition. Ed McMahon is not going to show up on my doorstep with an oversize cheque – “Congrats! You have the best baby!”. But, I can’t help it. I also worry that he’s not big enough for his age. I’m 4’11” but my husband is 6’0″. Is it wrong for me to hope that he didn’t inherit my lack of height? I don’t want him to get beat up in the school yard. Kids can be real s**theads sometimes.
I wonder what kind of person he’ll grow up to be. I wonder if I’m giving him all the tools necessary for him to smart, clever, funny, caring, and empathetic. Am I reading enough books to him? Am I giving him the right foods? Am I playing the right games with him? It drives me mental sometimes.
I suppose you never stop worrying when you become a parent. You never stop second guessing yourself. You want to be there for your child but also leave them be to figure things out for themselves. You want to be protective but not overbearing. So hard to find that balance.
But, I must be doing something right. He’s healthy. And, he behaves in public. Gotta admit, that’s pretty golden.