I read this post about going back to work.
It reminded of the fact that I haven’t made any arrangements regarding daycare for my son. Yes, my maternity leave is almost over. What am I waiting for? After all, the benefit cheques will stop coming. And, I’m sure that my husband will start resenting me for staying at home while he has to work.
I guess I don’t want to go back.
First of all, daycare is really expensive. And, a nanny is out of the question. Even with subsidizing, I don’t think my salary will cover the cost of daycare. Plus, getting a placement seems to be an awful lot of work. As with most things, there are waiting lists. Maybe, we can move to France. As Michael Moore revealed in “Sicko”, daycare is free there. I’m so jealous. Not only do the French get free primary and secondary public education, but they also get five weeks of vacation! Add to that, fabulous food, excellent wine, and to-die-for fashion. SO NOT FAIR!
Another reason why I’m hemming and hawing about going back is that I don’t trust anyone to look after my son. Does that mean that I have control issues? For the longest time, when my husband took care of him, I would still hover around to make sure that he was doing everything my way.
Me: Hello? You need to wash his dish out right away. Otherwise it gets crusty.
Him: I’ll get there!
Me: You need to wipe his face and hands too.
Him: I’m getting there. Chill.
Me: You shouldn’t be watching TV while you’re feeding him. It’s too distracting.
Him: You wanna do this?
Me: No, you’re doing fine.
I’ve learned to let go a little. I’ve even been able to go out dancing with my friends! But, I do get pissed when he doesn’t answer my texts right away. I need to understand that it doesn’t matter if we have different parenting styles . Ultimately, the job gets done.
By the way, I’m still breast-feeding him. I’ve been trying to get him to drink homo milk out of a sippy cup. Unfortunately, he thinks it’s a toy. We just end up with milk flying all over the place. Sigh. Yes, I can pump. But, who’s going to give it to him?
Scheduling is another problem. Even if I drop down to part-time, my husband’s rotating hours make it difficult to give my workplace set days. Sigh. I wonder if I can set up a nursery in the stockroom?
Anyway, why do I have to be a working mother? I’ve crunched the numbers. It would be tight. But, with certain sacrifices, I think we can survive with one income (knock on wood). And, what’s up with that term anyway? I don’t call my husband a “working father”. Why is there this pressure to be a “superwoman” and do everything? By the way, why is a woman considered to be “super” if she has a career, family, and husband? Do we have “supermen”? I digress.
I’m hoping that it will figure itself out. Sigh.