There’s A Hole In My Bucket


A few days ago I put up a post called “The List”. I received a comment that led me to this post:

(Btw, I appreciate the feedback darkeve)

It got me thinking about a “bucket list” – that proverbial list of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. There’s also a movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. No, I haven’t seen it. But here’s the list from the movie:

  1. Witness something truly majestic
  2. Help a complete stranger for a common good
  3. Laugh till I cry
  4. Drive a Shelby Mustang
  5. Kiss the most beautiful girl in the world
  6. Get a tattoo
  7. Skydiving
  8. Visit Stonehenge
  9. Spend a week at the Louvre
  10. See Rome
  11. Dinner at La Cherie D’or
  12. See the pyramids
  13. Get back in touch (previously “Hunt the big cat”)
  14. Hong Kong
  15. Victoria Falls
  16. Serengeti
  17. Ride the Great Wall of China on motorcycle

The idea of mortality has never really been on my mind before. That all changed, however, with the birth of my son. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, his survival depends upon my welfare. They say that when you’re on a plane with your baby and the gas masks drop down, you should put the mask on you first. If you survive, your child survives. Or something like that. So, in addition to trying to eat healthier and being active, having a baby has got me thinking about RRSPs, RESPs, life insurance, and (oh no!) a will. These things mean I’ve grown up and become my parents.

I don’t have a bucket list. I’m afraid to make one up. I don’t want to be on my deathbed someday with this list and saying, “Oh I wish I had the time to do this”. That list of things to do suddenly becomes a list of “cannots”, “will nots” and “should haves”.

I am a list maker. I make shopping lists, chore lists, Xmas lists, expense lists, etc. But, bucket lists involve so much more commitment. I respect those that make them. I can only imagine the near orgasmic feeling one must get from crossing an item off. But, like in the movie, the things I would like to do require time and money. Who has those things anymore?

Perhaps I’m making it too complicated. Maybe my bucket list should be things that are more realistic and attainable. Homer Simpson had the right idea in the episode of ‘One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish’. He ate fugu and was told he had 24 hours to live. His list included teaching Bart how to shave, listening to Lisa play the saxophone, spending time with Grandpa, having one last drink at Moe’s, and being “intimate” with Marge. It’s a classic episode.

Hence, my bucket list will merely involve being there for my son’s milestones – his first haircut, his first “boo-boo”, his first hockey game, his first day of school, his first love, his first broken heart, his first child’s birth (I hope!).


About myra36

parent, housewife, advocate, diva
This entry was posted in random thoughts and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to There’s A Hole In My Bucket

  1. darkeve says:

    This reminds me of two other movies which had that idea, A Walk to Remember and My Life Without Me.

    Things do look different when you have children, it’s like you’re sharing one life instead of 2.

  2. myra36 says:

    Absolutely! It’s not about me anymore. Having a child changes your perspective on life. However, even though parenthood may be enriching, it may not be for everyone.

  3. darkeve says:

    I understand. I worship my nephew and niece no matter how exhausting they have become. After a long day of work babysitting is the only thing that can make me feel better (pretty unusual!!)

    The thing is I don’t think I’m selfless enough to dedicate every second in everyday to someone else. I don’t know. I have always found it hard to imagine myself as a mother.

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