Two years ago the idea of motherhood was the furthest thing from my mind. I was considering the idea of going to medical school and enjoyed an active (maybe too active) social life. Kids didn’t fit my lifestyle. While I wasn’t opposed to the idea of being a parent, I certainly wasn’t planning on becoming one anytime soon. Besides, I had a wonderful niece and nephew. I loved looking after them and could give them back any time. Kinda like borrowing a book from the library.
Then, it happened. Granted, my hubby and I weren’t exactly practicing safe sex. But, we had been miraculously lucky thus far. My first reaction was disbelief. Then, anger. How could I go out dancing with my boys now (by the way, most of my friends are gay men)? This baby was seriously going to put a damper on things. How I could I possibly be fabulous with an extra thirty pounds? Furthermore, maternity clothes suck!
Eventually, I calmed down. Getting pregnant couldn’t be the end of the world. Some of my friends and co-workers had children. And, it wasn’t as if I was single and still in high school. I finished a university degree and had my husband’s support.
We were going to be mommy and daddy! I sure as hell wanted to be a “yummy mummy”. I ate healthy, stayed active, and worn clingy clothes to show off my gorgeous bump ( and, cleavage). I decided to embrace my pregnancy. After all, I had a glow, shiny hair, long nails, and a life inside of me. This was what my body was built to do.
So, I now have a wonderful and precocious 8-month boy. And, I can’t believe I didn’t become a mother sooner. Actually, when I think about it, I wasn’t ready. I had to let grow up. Yes, a mortgage and husband still weren’t enough to make me graduate into adulthood. Geez, I was drinking like I was still in university. Albeit, I had moved from beer to vodka. But now, it’s not about me anymore. I live for my son. He is everything to me.
I know that I will be teaching him many things like how to talk, how to read, how to dress, and how to say “thank you”. But, he has already taught me so much. I’ve learned patience, strength, giving, and joy. Now I feel grown up.