Parenthood is a scary thing indeed. I don’t think you’re ever ready for it. Oh sure there are lots of books and web sites. But, I’ve been finding lately that experience and common sense are the best tools. Remember, our parents never had Baby Einstein or The Wiggles. And, Elmo is the Devil. In this age of quick fixes and self-diagnoses, it’s best to go with your gut. YOU know what best for your child-not Dr. Phil or Oprah.
Having said that, there are some things you must know about.
1) Stroller envy
I admit it. I REALLY want a Bugaboo Cameleon. But, at $900 a pop I like staying married better. However, when you’re out and about you will inevitably find yourself checking out other strollers. It’s the classic grass-is-always-greener syndrome. Men do it with cars and boobs. Mothers do it with strollers and diaper bags. Don’t curse your limited disposable income every time you see a Quinny. These things have a limited life span. Your kid will be out of the thing in no time.
2) Nipple cream
Great for chapped lips.
3) Engorgement really sucks. (I believe I’ve already mentioned this in a previous note. But, it’s worth reiterating.)
Caden has been remarkably good at night. Before, I would put him down at around 8 PM. He’d be up at 4 AM to feed and then down till 7 or 8 AM. All of a sudden, he decided he was going to sleep through the whole night. Of course, this is a good thing but my body hadn’t adjusted yet. So, I woke up at 6 AM with my boobs swollen and hard as bricks. I was torn between letting Caden sleep and getting him up to feed. Is it wrong to say to your child, “Come on baby! Suck me dry!”? Being bereft of a breast pump, I ended up squirting into the bathroom sink. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
4) You completely change how you buy clothes
Can I nurse in this? Will spit-up wash out? Will this hide the fact that I haven’t gone back to my pre-pregnancy shape and may never will? I used to like buying clothes. But clothing that is both nursing-friendly and fashionable are as common as unicorns. At the same time, I simply refuse to go out in my husband’s t-shirts and track pants. I strive to be a yummy mummy. Holla!
5) You forget how to talk
It’s inevitable. Conversations always steer towards how the baby is and what the baby is doing. After that, there’s nothing to talk about. You are so wrapped up with baby that you don’t know what’s going on anymore (what’s the deal with the Jonas Brothers anyway?). And, your babyless friends don’t really want to hear about your little one ALL THE FRIGGIN’ TIME. You know what though? Too bad. My child is my life now. You are going to sit there and hear how he gets poop up his back.
Speaking of which – this one time I was changing his diaper and he pooped all over my hand….